My "Rescue 9-1-1" Blunder-- Part Two

...and here's "the rest of the story!"

Well, we had some time to rehearse alright, but not because of my request.  The house was disgusting and the cast/crew had made some comments, even sending someone to the store to get cleaning supplies.  The girls (of course) came back with rubber gloves and disinfected what they could, plus had to do the dishes, etc.  Well, the owners (and the subjects of this episode) overheard comments and were offended that anyone would find their home abnormally dirty.  (Think "Hoarder" episodes... hey, the flies were going out the doors...)  They threatened to throw everybody out.   (Darn, they didn't!)

So, trying to rehearse was a nightmare between the cleaning crew, arguing and who would have a better sense of smell than a human???  You got it!  The dogs were so distracted with the place they couldn't focus for more than a second.  Plus, I saw the original dog scratching... I pulled my gang out and we practiced in the motor-home, applying a generous amount of flea protection to the dogs.  I also appreciated being able to keep an eye on my Range Rover to make sure it hadn't wound up on blocks... such was the neighborhood.

After observing the situation, most of us were having trouble believing the storyline...  We started shooting mid-afternoon while the production company unhappily arranged for a second night in the hotel and the per-diems.  We weren't starving, because "Ann" was smart and put stuff in her fridge.  The three of us went through two pounds of M & M's we nicknamed "stress tabs."

One scene, the director, me, an actress and the cameraman were in the bathroom getting a shot of the dog coming through the door to the shower.  (I was actually getting the dog to come to me, so I was in the shower with the actress portraying the mother, fully dressed with shoes on and still grossed out even though it got bleached!)  The poor cameraman had to sit on the toilet because the director was in the only other out of range spot.  I said to the cameraman, "That has got to be against union rules."  He said, "If not, it's at least against the laws of humanity!"

This whole shoot was like an out-of-body experience in a dream you can't wake up from.  The main dog's owner we'll call "Bertha" decided she should be paid a trainer's fee because we needed her help sometimes.  That wasn't in the budget, but she was ticked and I was frazzled, so I believe I gave her a cut of my ever-dwindling profit to stop her from walking off with her dog in the middle of the shoot.  They weren't going to give her money as they didn't even like her.   I was asked to tell her to chill or leave the set more than once.

Thankfully, "Ann" was calm and helped me through this, helping to figure out how to "cheat" some shots and keeping "Bertha" at bay.  When we were finished, we were so drained we just grabbed stuff and left.  I needed to get the other collie home (she did get some face time though!)  Of course, I left two brand new personalized director's chairs in that backyard, a cooler and who knows what else.

I hadn't talked to the sitter in a few hours, so decided to stop at a pay-phone to save some money and call.  Well, it turns out that two year old Audra had been helping herself to the cupboard while the sitter was on the phone.  She grabbed a box of red jello (which was a fluke we even had it, but it came with free alphabet cookie cutters someone gave her for Christmas.)  She ripped open the box and spilled the powder in the center of our living room on the pale silver carpet.

Not a big deal, except instead of vacuuming it up, the sitter claimed they didn't want to ruin my "sweeper" so they, "mopped it up as best they could."  I let that process a second and then I said, "what do you mean by 'mopped it up?'  You added water?????"  Take a guess.

I came home to an enormous red spot in the center of the front room that had already dried.  I tried everything and then had two cleaning companies come out that specialized in stains.  This cost a couple hundred, not to mention it didn't work.  You couldn't cover it with furniture, so the only option was to buy new carpeting for the living and dining rooms, plus at least the hallway because it was the same carpet throughout and nothing new would match exactly due to the age of the carpet.

Well, it was a rental and I wasn't doing that even if I could afford it.  We might get dinged on the carpet (though legally landlords are supposed to paint and change the carpet) when we moved, but it wouldn't be as much as replacing it.  So, I cut an organically shaped piece out of a closet and put in a nearly matching carpet sample there.  I took the piece to the living room and cut out the stain and used dog clippers or something to lower the pile and blend it in.  If you didn't know it was there, you couldn't easily tell.

That would be the end of the story, except when I got the final check from the company, I had forgotten per diems with some companies are merely advances and not extra pay (though I usually got this in addition.)  So, backing out the per diems and paying for the dogs, "Ann" and "Bertha" left me with nearly nothing, nothing or in the hole.  Can't remember.  Certainly after the carpet, way in the hole.

My wise brother Jeff summed it up by saying, "Well, now you know this is something you don't want to do anymore."  I gave it a try and learned from it.  So mistakes are often kind of helpful in a painful way.  I could focus on another direction.  The show came on and it looked okay, but I never accepted another assignment!

Rest In Peace Sophie... our Rhode Island Red hen died right after I finished Part One.  She was fine (at least to me) in the yard a few minutes before.  We are now back to the original nine hens. --GW-T

Until next time,

Gale

My "Rescue 9-1-1" Blunder---Part One

What I really needed was someone to rescue me... "If I were to write a book entitled "Dumb Things I've Done" it would wind up looking like a set of encyclopedias (hey a good way to organize it!)  I would have to say that this story would be in the Top Ten." --GW-T

I'm typing this story totally from memory (one that I have suppressed for maybe 18 years):

Once upon a time, there was this gal (me) who wanted to make some money as a stay-at-home mom and do something "fun" at the same time.  I owned and trained a wonderful golden retriever bitch "Windi" to obedience high in trial awards, as a water rescue dog in Malibu and a motion picture trick dog during the 1980s.  (I will post about her soon.)  So, I figured doing a little TV/print work around Ohio would be a piece of cake compared to Hollywood.   This was not the case.

My dog love of my life "Windi" had long passed away, but I am well connected in the "dog world."  I have been active in many clubs, forming many life-long friendships with folks who would trust me with their dogs.  I set up a little business and mailed out a few brochures.  I did some print work and would pay a rental fee (or offer, some folks just liked having their dogs in ads) and charge the customer a wrangler fee for myself.  I wasn't getting rich, but all I had to do was a little training and show up ---usually.

My "big break" was when a casting director called and asked me to send some photos of collies to do a "Rescue 9-1-1" in Dayton.  This was a reality show way before they were popular.  All I had to do was match dogs and have a spare that could paw at a door and push it open.  No biggie.  I also needed to give them a rate upfront.  That comes into play later.

I have lots of friends with collies, so I easily found a matching pair, way better looking than the original dog, but nobody would know that.  I found one of them through a trainer friend, who wanted to become involved.  So, I decided to be broker and turn over the training which could take a few hours to her.  Unfortunately, the owner of the main dog decided she too wanted to participate.  That has never been my policy as the potential for disaster is exponentially multiplied---and I usually like being right, but not this time.   The owner was originally just coming along for the ride...I would only be paying the dog...

We, of course, only had a short time to get our act together before the shoot.  Thank goodness the trainer friend I will call "Ann" had a motor home we could use as a home base.  I swung by and picked up my 2nd dog and met them at a rest area.  We got to the hotel in Dayton and settled in with our instructions.  All was well, get up at 4 a.m. and go.

I went to the morning meeting and the director changed everything.  Why I didn't expect that, I don't know.  With "Windi" I could train on the spot if need be, so I guess I hadn't thought about it.  This happens all the time, even though we were supposed to be re-creating an actual event.  The director, who immediately said he hated working with kids and dogs, obviously knew nothing about either.  There was a set of six week old twin babies who were miserable the whole shoot and never stopped crying.  My dogs kept coming unglued with that as it upsets them to hear anything cry.

This director also decided this was his one chance to direct a "Lassie" episode and wanted us to have the dog walk in the nursery, put feet on the bed, see the baby not breathing, fretting and barking, then circling a certain number of times,  jumping on the bathroom door as well as pawing, push it open and jump in a shower, dragging the mother out to "save" the baby.  Shooting would start in 30 minutes.  We had to be done by dark.  And oh, there won't be room on the credits to add me.

I left the meeting shell-shocked and went back to the motor home to explain.  This was to be shot in a sequence and not takes of each trick, meaning the dog would have to go from A to B to C on it's own.  There would have to be all three of us directing that poor dog.  The house was tiny and between us, the cameraman, gaffers, sound guy, etc. it was crowded and overwhelming to the dogs.  My beautiful second dog was mostly an insurance policy and not really trained.  I did work with her on the door stuff a little.  Everything obviously had to be hand signaled as you can't have us hollering commands all through the scene.

I went back to the A.P. (assistant producer) and explained the situation.  We would need some time to rehearse in the house at the very least and I would see what I could do, but this was not in the original agreement and I was making no promises.  They could tape some barking and plug it in where necessary and we had to get the dog to do that without saying anything.  Try it sometime.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my original babysitter was unavailable and poor Mark had to arrange a replacement at the last minute as he had a business to run.  This also turned into a disaster and the dollar a minute cell phone bill escalated---chipping away at my "profit."  This would prove to be the least of my worries.

Believe me, you will want to come back next week "for the rest of the story"...

Until then, have a great week!

Gale

Gale's Gallery VII: Art Anyone Can Create--Scarves

Hello Arts 'N Crafters!

I do apologize for a) that I haven't posted any craft pieces lately-- usually involves taking pictures and thinking instead of my normal rambling verbiage... b) if you aren't into making scarves I think you'll want to browse the 77 other posts for now...sorry to disappoint!

However, lots of you have read the other Gale's Galleries, so I will continue as I have many projects left in my "art arsenal."

Today we will knit a super simple scarf that my yoga instructor and friend Bonnie showed me.  If however, you feel you would just like one and not make it, please let me know and I will give you her contact info as she makes them to sell in a variety of colors.  Bonnie could make a killing if we could only find scarlet and gray yarn!  They have one, but it has black and white in it.... but I digress.

First, the yarn.  At first glance this looks like a nightmare to work with.  It isn't the fastest, but it is doable.  The key is to get it separated beforehand.  It will pop back somewhat, but I chose to wind it on a leftover remote (Finally!  A use for the dozen that sit around!  It just happened to be handy, anything will work.)  There are many types of yarn for this, but I've tried Red Heart Boutique Sashay.  It requires size 9 needles.  (I hate working with long metal ones, they are cumbersome and slippery.  For easiest results, I got bamboo circular needles and just kept flipping it.  That way the project is safely stored on the loop when not in use.)

Leaving a 5 inch tail, you cast on 6 to 10 stitches, depending on how wide you want the finished project.  You can make a scarf a skein if you go 6.  You don't even really have to cast on, just run your needle through 6 holes.

Knit into the top row of stitches in the yarn.  It doesn't matter if it's not always in the same spot as you won't see it anyway.  Keep stretching out the yarn as you go to make it easier.  This is easy straight knitting, but kinda slow going because of the yarn bunching up.

Below are steps of what the yarn looks like to help visualize the technique:

The original skein of Red Heart Sashay yarn found at least at Jo-Ann's and Michael's.

What it looks like unfurled.

This one I used metal circular needles, but stitches kept slipping.  From now on, I will only use bamboo or those rubbery "baleen" needles.

Almost done!

Keep going until you are about 10 inches from the end, then cast off leaving about 5 inches left of a tail.

I chose to skip the sewing part on the ends, because the knit is so loose it looked like it would be a pain and might not hold.  So, I knotted each end then sealed with "Fray Check" liquid fabric glue after I cut off any excess.  Since the ends are covered by the lace, you can't see it and it will hold forever.

I actually got a bright idea to try and stretch the yarn width-wise before knitting it by putting in on a "bobbin."  Since there were several old remotes nearby, I wound the yarn on one.  Humorously, folks thought I had used my current DirectTv remote and panicked!  Like I would do that (at least on purpose????)

So enjoy sitting in front of the TV and knitting these quick little fun scarves!

Until next time,

Gale

"Drawing Winners!"

Hello all!,

Hope this finds you well and enjoying a lovely Fall day!  I will have a post in the next day or two, but if you must get your 'Creek fix, there are 77 prior posts to tide you over...you can find them on the Index By Topic page in the upper right corner.

A couple weeks ago I requested a favor if you had a moment to answer a few questions for me in hopes of improving this blog.  The responders were to be put in a drawing for a Starbuck's gift card.  Since three fabulous ladies took their valuable time to help me, I decided to give them each a gift card.   Thank you girls!

Now, the rest of you are "up the 'Creek without a latte"... but cheer up as I am sure there will be further opportunities for other gifts and prizes!

Your blog buddy,

Gale

P.S.:  Your comments are always welcome!   

Eat, Drink and Be Merry...For Tomorrow You May Die-t!

A Wisconsin news anchor was featured yesterday speaking out on a viewer telling her she was too heavy to be on TV.  Good for her!  This reminded me of a favorite essay I wrote several years ago, that still applies to this day.   I am thinking many of you will be able to laugh and relate!  GW-T

“It is better to have dieted and lost, than to have never dieted at all.” –Gale Williams-Thompson

Disclaimer:  The following is not to be construed as any sort of advice.  I am not, nor wish to be, a medical, nutritional or fitness expert.  This is just a good-natured essay about my observations, successes and failures in the attempt to keep (actually, get back) my girlish figure.  Enjoy!

Diet is a four-letter word.  It is no coincidence that the first three letters spell die.  For me, it is about the same thing.  Now there is a difference between dieting and exercising for health concerns (being medically obese) and just being somewhat overweight.  Fortunately, at least at the moment, I fall in the latter category.  But I recognize the time will come when I will have to get with the program.  Just shoot me!

For more than four decades I have fought the Battle of the Bulge.  I have won, but I have lost even more.  Pardon the pun.  At present, I am not winning.  What truly works is to eat like a rabbit and work out constantly.  (Remember manatees get huge eating just lettuce!)  But it isn’t realistic.  Most of us have to juggle full time work, children, errands and house chores.  We are pooped and want real food!

My journey began when I was still very young.  I was a pudgy kid who grew out of it in high school.  My first attempt to diet was eating handfuls of caramels called “Ayds”.  They were supposed to be appetite suppressants.  I guess they worked because after I ate them, I didn’t want dinner!  I still didn’t lose weight.  Imagine that. 

These were terrible, yet popular in the '70s.  I don't think you were supposed to eat a box in one sitting.  They took awhile because they were wrapped in cellophane.  (Which might have been tastier!)

I would eat Ayds while drinking “Tab” or “Fresca.”  These sodas are still available.  I would say that growing up on these drinks has trained my taste buds to actually prefer diet soda.  In the 80’s, I remember eating bread that had wood fiber (sawdust?) in it.  It’s not around anymore.

I drank gallons of this chemical concoction that was later found to be full of cyclamates...whatever that is.  Apparently, lots of lab rats didn't survive it.  I think it's reformulated now and I being sold again.  

 I spent some of my twenties living in Los Angeles eating “Slender Bars” nearly every breakfast and lunch.  I told myself they were tasty. I think they are also extinct.  My mom tried the group humiliation method of dieting.  I tried the “looking for a Hollywood agent” humiliation method.  I was told I was too pretty to be a character actress and too heavy (then, a size 10) to be an ingénue.

Look how happy she looks!  It was made up of styrofoam looking (and tasting) pebbles with some spray-painted chocolate coating.  You could never find the chocolate caramel nut ones.

In L.A., I learned that being broke could be a good diet aid.  However, it doesn’t work even if you have a little money, because you can afford carbohydrates.  Healthy foods are generally more expensive.   Some people get so depressed that they can’t eat.  Not me.  When I’m depressed, bring it on. Especially chocolate!  I did get down to a three dress and six jeans somehow.  Mostly by not eating and working out every spare minute.

What the “normal” folks need to understand is that those “beautiful people” on the west coast are beyond obsessed.  The stars you see with the perfect bodies have (highly paid) fitness gurus, nutritionists and cooks.  They work out many hours daily.  One fault of society, in my opinion, is outward looks are more prized than they should be.  Body type is only a somewhat changeable inherited trait.  We should be looking more carefully for inner beauty, wisdom and altruism.  It is insulting for many of us to hear about how 106 pound actress Renee Zellweger is working hard to “pack on” twenty pounds for her second Bridget Jones movie.  I would love to weigh only 126 pounds and I’m not alone!  I wouldn’t have to work hard to put on a lousy twenty pounds either!

Though not officially diagnosed, I am sure I had anorexia nervosa while in L.A. (I went from a size 12 to a 3.)  One time I tried bulimia (upchucking), but that was more awful than it was worth.  It was easier to just not eat and over exercise.  I lost my energy, health, monthly cycles, ruined my metabolism and was still thinking I needed to lose more weight.  I am a relatively large framed person and a size three is too small.  If I went a day without working out, I felt really guilty.  After I moved back to Ohio (where normal folks live) it didn’t take long for me to change my lifestyle, gain it all back and then some.

Some of the unsuccessful things I’ve tried in the last decade include, Meridia, Redux, medically endorsed diet shakes (yuck!), no fat diets, all carb diets, no carb diets (whichwould probably work the best if I could only give up everything I love.)  Show me a diet that includes chocolate milk, bread, Oreos and French fries and we’ll talk.  The old fashioned diet pills of the 60’s & 70’s (I believe also known as speed, but they were legal) work fine if you don’t mind never sleeping, rather lying there feeling your heart race.  Once again, they were too nasty to be worth it.

My “Top Ten Diet Rules” are:

#1            If it tastes good, it’s fattening!  Example:  Margarine will never taste as good as butter.  Diet foods are flavorless, unless you add a chemical substance to it such as fake sugar, fake fat, and fake salt.  Often those have worse side effects than the calories!

#2            If it’s “diet”, we eat twice as much of it.  Example:  Remember the “Snack Wells” craze?  It reminded me of the “run on the bank” video footage from the Great Depression.  The cookies are fat free maybe, but certainly not calorie free.  A ton of people (pardon the pun again) gained weight on them when they first came out.  Me too!  The supermarkets limited how many boxes you could buy and only distributed them certain days.  I even had to put my name on a waiting list. 

#3            Diet frozen meals are diet because there is more packaging than food.  Perhaps they should flavor the box!

#4            Thin folks get sick and even die.  Buses aren’t picky about what who they run over.  Many diseases, especially cancer, don’t weigh their victims and give them extra credit for being in shape. (I would rather go into it in a good “fighting weight” though!)  James Fixx, author of “The Complete Book of Running” died jogging at age 52!  My thin exercising friends are always whining about shin splints, bad knees, and other aches/pains.  They have to go to sports medicine specialists. 

#5             Exercise:   Don’t sweat it (just kidding!  It IS good for you!) However, a close friend of mine, who could certainly be considered a health nut, came home from an “extreme” vacation in such bad shape her husband called the squad.  It appeared she was having a heart attack.  Fortunately, it was only some strained muscles.  But, she was in the hospital undergoing lots of elaborate tests (which I couldn’t even afford) and scared to death.  Meanwhile, I was probably on my riding lawn mower, sitting in front of the computer or TV, or even taking a nap. 

#6            Tofu tastes just like it looks. 

#7            Eat from as many food groups as you can.  These include Chinese, Mexican, Italian, fast food, junk food, and take-out food.           

#8             Diets are prejudiced.  They are anti-white.  No white sugar, white potatoes, white bread, 

white pasta, white flour or white rice.  One diet from a recent “Reader’s Digest” even suggested 

chocolate would be better for you than potatoes.  No kidding!  I need to look into this one further.                     

Unfortunately, during both of my pregnancies, all I could keep down was mashed potatoes.  I can 

certainly vouch that they are indeed fattening!

 #9            The only good reason to diet and exercise is to be healthy.  It’s important to take good care of yourself.  Moderation is the key.  The truth is that thin people eat less and do more than heavy ones.   Sad, but true.

#10            Don’t listen to those commercials that attempt to make you feel like a loser.  You know the ones where folks declare they became instantly happy when they got thin.  You have to work on happiness as hard as your health.  I don’t recall being blissfully happy when I was thin.  Actually, it was rather stressful period of my life.  Once you lose the weight, all you do is worry about gaining it back.  Plus, other problems just fill in the void.  I looked pretty good though!

Socially, I wish we could treat weight as a matter of fact issue like my 7-year-old son Taylor does.  Though I died of embarrassment, a heavy young girl in a scout uniform came by our car while we were waiting for his sister.  He said “Look Mom, there’s a big, fat Girl Scout!  I said, “Taylor, shhh, that’s not nice.”  Then he said even louder, “But Mom, she’s big, she’s fat, she’s a big, fat Girl Scout!”  I hurriedly turned on the car and rolled up the windows.  He didn’t mean anything by it.  It was just an observation, not a slam against her personally.

Another recent conversation we had involved those awful diet shakes I occasionally attempt.  He said, “Mom, do you drink those to get skinny?”  I said yes.  He said, “Well, you aren’t too skinny yet!”  Then he wanted to taste it.  I told him to take a small sip and he complied because he “only wanted to get a little bit skinny.”  The next time I opened the fridge he asked, “Mom, are you going to drink another one to get skinny faster?”

The Bible (Hebrew, Isaiah 22:13) states “Eat, drink and be merry.  For tomorrow, you may die.”  Here’s to your happiness, whether you are fat or thin.  Life is to be enjoyed!

Until next time,

Gale